So I’ve been watching a lot of Oprah lately (Master Class + Super Soul Sundays – I know who the hell am I?) – so imma gonna get all deep and philosophical right now. And I can cause it’s my birthday damn it!
In my 20s and 30s I truly dreaded the idea of being 40. Let alone 42. Cause like OMG that is like so old.
But truth be told, your 40s – they’re not so awful. And truth be told, I kinda sorta maybe really like it.
It’s not all that scary.
It’s only a number – right?
In my 20s I was still struggling to find out who I really was and what I wanted to do with my life.
My 30s – it was all about life changes.
My 40s it has been all about being 100% comfortable in my own skin.
I’ve now had two years to figure out this 40s thing. And I think I finally have the hang of it.
I finally feel like I’ve caught up to my age.
But let’s not kid ourselves – I’m still about the moments of total blissful immaturity, beaucoup de sarcasm, silliness and lots and lots of cursing. Le obviously.
I’ve accepted the body I see in front of my mirror every morning – although Dayna and I swear one day we’ll get our asses to a gym on a regular basis. One day.
(But I still won’t wear a bikini. Le hellz no.)
I’ve found my voice and am not afraid to use it. I now accept that the worst that can happen is that someone disagrees with me – and that’s OK.
I’ve learned that listening is equally as powerful and effective as speaking your opinion.
It’s not about competing all the time – sometimes it’s just about becoming a better you. A better ‘you’ that never stops learning…the ‘you’ that never stops asking questions.
I’ve accepted that you can’t change everyone and not everyone is worth changing. It’s a hard lesson but it’s an important lesson.
I’m all about forgiving, even though I never forget. It’s all about growing and learning from all those paths we take in life – even the ones we never expected to take.
I’ve learned to move on – I believe that everything happens for a reason – some call it fate; I just stopped questioning it – and if it doesn’t work out in your favour its ok. What’s meant to be, is meant to be. And if doesn’t work out …then walk away. It’s ok to walk away. It really is.
This past year I’ve made some amazing connections and reconnected with some people I never thought I would ever cross paths with again in my lifetime.
How awesome is that?
And I’m grateful for it all.
I’ve embraced not needing to have expectations met all the time – sometimes it’s just about going along for the ride, having fun and not taking for granted all the adventures that come with it.
I’ve discovered incredible new music this year and I have the iTunes bill to prove it. And this year I once again reaffirmed that music is truly my happy place.
I have smiled more these last 12 months and many of those smiles are silent ones – ones that will never come with an explanation. And those are the best kinds.
I love to laugh. Every day. It’s a really bad day when I can’t find one thing that makes me laugh. Yes even the snort laughing.
I’ve shared secrets and taken down walls, worked through inhibitions and let people into my inner circle.
Some of those walls have been up for years for the record.
And I take solace in knowing that there are a select few…even a twin soul…that know me for who I am to my very core.
The real me – flaws…my many imperfections…all of them.
I value that circle of trust every single day.
I have embraced my passions and my ‘ways’.
I’ve discovered the word ‘adore’ all over again and it makes my heart melt.
I have embraced my faults. I have embraced my weaknesses. Not that all weaknesses are bad – some get them, and some never will.
I’ve accepted all sides of me.
And I’m ok with all of them.
I am thankful for my circle of friends, my support system, and my family that I have – the ones who call me out on my bullshit (I’m a Gemini – bullshit is a given) and the ones that champion me in life every single day.
I’m all about following passions and dreams and supporting those same goals in others. It’s an amazing gift watching people succeed in what they are most passionate about.
Mean what you say – say what you mean. But just say it. You’ll regret more what you didn’t say than the words you said. Life’s short. Too damn short sometimes. You don’t get ‘time’ back. If you love someone tell them. If someone means something to you. Tell them. Never leave things unsaid. The ‘what ifs’ in life are what kills your soul.
My Zia Italia in Windsor taught me that one.
All this to say that 41 was a hell of ride and I look forward to 42.
I am happy. Even if happy doesn’t always come in the most perfect of packages.
It’s my way and it works for me.
Maybe this year I’ll overcome my fear of heights and jump out of a plane.
Here’s to more franglais, Nutella and Baby Duck. And lots of adventures, making memories and fun.
And here’s to 42.