The 52nd Grammy Awards….


So the Grammy Awards have come and gone for yet another year…and like any good award show there is always so much to bitch about…

  • Red Carpet Disasters. Good gawd was there a stylist’s strike that I was unaware of, where they purposely boycotted the Grammy red carpet? So many walking disasters. But the biggest offender? Miss Spears. Does she not have a stylist? And if she does she/he needs to be fired immediately. A bathing suit/bodysuit underneath a sheer dress? Google it. It was dreadful.
  • Jamie Foxx. Not sure why so many celebs were on their feet clapping away [you’d think he was the second coming of Jesus or something the way they were so captivated]…it was one of the worst performances ever. I would like auto-tune forever banned from this day forth. And for that matter having Mr. Foxx from ever performing a musical number again.
  • The 3D disaster. Advil stock went up this morning. I still have a headache. Note to producers….the 3D thing only works if you have 3D glasses. If you lack that essential accessory then all you have is a wicked headache. I get being all excited to push the latest technology but you forgot about all us ‘non celeb’ types at home who didn’t get the glasses in our pricey ‘loot bag’.
  • Taylor Swift. Oh sweets I want to ignore all your haters who consistently say you are a brilliant songwriter but terrible singer…but my dear last night’s off key disaster didn’t help your cause at all. Not even Stevie Nicks could help you out. You were off, off.
  • Beyonce. I know you are all talented and beautiful and married to the King of Hip Hop. [Loved how you thanked your ‘husband’…a comment directed to Rihanna no doubt] But Janet Jackson called and wants her ‘Rhythm Nation’ futuristic military number back. And I love that you want to give props to Ottawa girl, Alanis Morissette, but leave the ‘You Oughta Know’ song to her.
  • P!nk. She reaffirmed my girl crush on her last night. Her performance was amazing. And she raised the bar on performing a song live even while doing the Cirque de Soleil thing. One of the two best performances of the night.
  • Dave Matthews Band. The second best performance of the night. Really DMB can do no wrong.
  • Ke$sha. Must you look so trashy and drunk all the time? Are you really aiming to be the second coming of Tara Reid? You are a walking disaster [enjoy the 15 minutes] but ‘Tik Tok’ is so annoyingly catchy. Damn you.
  • Justin Bieber. You were up way past your bedtime and you got all nervous [I get it] and couldn’t help but stumble away while on stage [not like Kei$ha was able to save you given to state of mind] but because you’re like 12…I feel the need to be all motherly and won’t say a bad thing about you.
  • Lady Gaga. You did not disappoint. You were as freakish as ever and I loved it. The bigger and more outlandish your costumes are the better. I need to find myself some head turning head wear for the Spring.
  • Sheryl Crow. Really could your earrings have been any bigger? My gawd they were distracting and not in a good way.
  • Zac Brown Band. I really love these guys. Mad skills they have as musicians. So happy that they picked up an award last night. And they completely killed in their performance.
  • Eminem. Hello Newsflash “Eminem likes dropping the Fbomb”. It’s true. Note to award show produces…we all know he curses. [we expect it actually] It was way past 11PM when he hit the stage. Stop with the bleep button already. It ruined the whole performance. I actually felt sorry for him…so disrespectful. If you don’t want big bad rappers who curse then don’t invite them to perform. That simple.
  • Drake. I know you are the best new thing in hip hop….but to me you will always be that kid from ‘Degrassi The Next Generation’.
  • Ricky Martin. Ahh yes Ricky Martin. He was there…on stage. Really, cross my heart. Why? I don’t know. He was up to his usual uncomfortably tight shirt and pant ways from his ‘Livin’ La Vida Loca’ days…guess Gerardo wasn’t available to present.
  • Walk down memory lane moment…Bon Jovi performing ‘Living on a Prayer’. Good times.
  • Celine Dion. Loved her dress except for the sheer pirate shirt she wore under the dress. Always taking it a step too far.
  • Norah Jones. Looked absolutely fab. Gold star for how to dress right.
  • Stephen Colbert. I love him I do. But he did not cut it as host of the Grammy Awards. There was zero connection between him and the audience. Can we say awkward?
  • Maxwell. Super sexy sounding as always.
  • Roberta Flack. True she looked stiff as a board and her jeweled collar looked a neck brace but it’s Roberta. The woman can sing. No trash talking her.
  • Alice Cooper. As always Alice rocked out the ‘death is about to come calling’ look.
  • Kings of Leon. They were the big surprise of the night winning ‘Record of the Year’. Plus they earned bonus points admitting they were kinda drunk when they got on stage to accept, but defended that admission by saying they were fun drunks. Yes, yes you are.
  • The Jackson kids accepting the award on behalf of their late father. Beautiful moment.
  • Mary J Blige and Andrea Boccelli. A perfect pairing. Didn’t think she could keep up with Andrea but she did.
  • Love how Placido Domingo had no idea who his co-presenter Mos Def was [Mos oozed the cool factor] …Placido was utterly confused. They were the odd couple of the night.
  • J-Lo. What’s with the shower haute couture fashion choices as of late. Really? Get a new stylist. And go over your script before you get on stage. Those teleprompters can be so unreliable.
  • Quentin Tarantino. Lay off the sugar before you go on stage. You were slightly umm hyper. And FYI I know you think you’re all hip hop gansta-like but you’re not. Consider that memo written and served.
  • Green Day. The guys haven’t aged a bit. And I totally want to go see the Green Day Broadway musical now. I blame Glee for that.
  • Lionel Richie. Come on, was I the only one hoping that he was going to break out into ‘Dancing on the Ceiling’ when he got on stage?

All in all it was a fabulous night.
Can’t wait until next year.

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2 thoughts on “The 52nd Grammy Awards….

  1. Anonymous says:

    Domingo was way less confused than over half of Twitter last night, constantly mistaking him for Bocelli, or for being Italian. People seem to have a cognitive breakdown any time something even remotely classical*ISH* is concerned. Is it really that difficult?

  2. Apparently so. Makes for a good argument for everything that is wrong with music and the need for exposing to all music at a young age. And truth is..this day in age…if you have no idea..just google it.

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