1. Why is it that my 3 year old son takes on the properties of slow moving molasses when I need him to do something [i.e: get changed, eat lunch, eat dinner, put socks on etc.] and yet he instantly morphs into Olympic record setting Michael Phelps when I leave the room for 2 minutes to change his sister’s diaper and he manages to empty an entire box of crackers onto the floor and starts spreading peanut butter on them because he wants to have a picnic?
2. Had I known that my 3 year old son would be occupied for a good solid hour with one roll of Scotch Tape, the room of toys he now has never would have never seen the light of day.
3. Why is it that my daughter can sleep through a parade of construction trucks driving by her window, her brother’s whining and phones ringing but the minute mommy sits down to starts typing a blog she wakes up? Really I don’t type that loudly.
4. Why is it that my 3 year old can’t hear me asking him to do something when I am sitting right next to him but he magically hears me whisper-cursing when I’m in a different part of the house?
5. Why is it that my son forgets basic rules…no yelling, no hitting, no screaming, no saying the word ‘hate’ on an hourly basis yet if I do something, like I don’t know like yell, he instantly can list off the rules of the time out chair, including the ‘if you get out of the time out chair before the timer beeps, I’m going to start the clock again’?
6. My 3 year old son won’t walk across the balance beam at his gymnastics class but climbing all the way up to the top of the bookcase in the office…no problem.
7. My 1 year old daughter is a fairly picky eater but put her outside and suddenly dirt and sand are a Foodie’s most sought after culinary feast, why?
8. Why is it that both my 3 year old and 1 year old can turn on the DVD player, TV and stereo and yet the simple instruction of ‘please stay in your room’ completely confuses them, like I’m asking them a question about geophysics?
9. Why is it that my 3 year old son complains of being bored playing in his room filled with toys yet he’ll watch the same episodes of Olivia, Ruby & Max and Hard Hat Harry over and over again, like it’s the first time he’s ever seen them every single time?
10. Why is it that both my kids get their second wind exactly 10 minutes before mommy’s show that she really wants to watch is about to start? I swear it’s because they know we have the PVR feature…damn the kids and their tech savvy ways.
Too much thinking….time for mindless TV…’I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here‘ it is.